Tuesday

Every time I have a Redbox that needs to be returned, because let's face it, that extra dollar charged onto my account is helping exactly no one, I'm usually in some sort of pinch to do so. Usually this makes me run the tiniest bit late for work, resulting in driving likened to a small animal thrashing around in its death throes. But it gives me the perfect excuse to say "I need to return some videotapes" in a constricted, harried manner. And it gives me the chuckles every single time.

Anyhoo -

A final look around the desert. Leaving is the perfect excuse to get sentimental. Here are a few things I will undoubtedly miss -

Familiarity

Friends and co-workers

Family

Open space

The Clear Night Sky

Ridiculously long and fiery sunsets

Getting mad at old people on the road

Lack of lines

Saguaros

Minorities (being minorities)

Uttered remarks of racial flippancy going unnoticed (all in good fun)

Running into someone you know everywhere you go

The Grid pattern

El Encanto (Honestly)

Open desert

Eccentric rich old people

Howling coyotes

Friendly service

Fremioth, the cashier at the gas station

The creepy elderly in Cave Creek

Canadians

Monsoons

Things I will not miss -

Running into someone everywhere I go

Getting mad at old people on the road

Someone dying every year

Dust

Indian Summers

Paradise Valley

Javelinas knocking my trash can over

Women who pull coupons out of designer bags

Police having the time and leisure to pull you over for doing nothing

Third degree burns inflicted by seat belts

Moth eaten clothes

Talking about how hot it is

Talking about how cold it is

This is bile.