Shall I try to unravel here?

I've been thinking about me a lot lately.

What it means to be me, how I seem to people on the outside, why I am interested in the things I am, my laziness, my ineptitudes. My possible complete lack of talent or ability of any sort. My irritating demeanor. Sense of entitlement. My arrogant self deprecating nature. Sometimes a head turner and equal parts subpar looks. All things me.

Where does unhappiness come from?

Disguised as a vehicle to protect oneself from getting too far into a task that they may be afraid to conquer?

Lack of attraction of interests?

Selfishness?

There are no reasons for me to be unhappy. My family is safe. My significant other is genuine. The love of my friends may be distant, but is real. I have found an occupation that is extremely convenient, and pays well. I am healthy. I have, so far, evaded trauma.

But I cannot conquer restlessness. I also cannot eat the Earth. So what is the answer?

If I am already defying modern society standards by avoiding a collegiate education, letting skin remain pale, avoiding the radio...

Money.

Is that really the deterrence from freedom? Lack of currency?

But that is a lazy way to think. The real deterrent is happiness. To be happy while completing a mundane task.

I was that way back home. I could be that way here. What is missing? I require the key element. Familiarity? At least I still possess one skill.

I'm never bored.