Paying rent.

And as I looked around and saw the thinning hair, a great sense of panic began to overwhelm me. No windows, a cold air constantly blowing - this is life! The tapping of keys, murmured complaints, hollow sighs - a cacophony of despair. This is how you get trapped! You're a good person, and you feel all these things, these feelings. Remorse, guilt, contagion, confusion, allergies, self-reliance, self-disdain, panic, fortitude and on and on for all these people, yes, even the ones who speak ill of you. And you think, "I can't leave them here in this mess!" But why do you feel this way? Is it that you are a sucker for humanity? Are you over sentimental? I don't think they really care about you, and why should they? All you ever did was get in the way, by not being a veteran. It's your fault you didn't show up five years into the experience. Couldn't you just pop in, in the midst of your career? Did you really have to have a beginning? Nonsense! Go away - but stay here and help, though you are more trouble than you're worth. You did neither, you did both - why can't you ever just do right? This is life!